Jolliest Bunch Of Assholes On This Side Of The Nuthouse | Funny Christmas Candle (ONLINE ORDER ONLY)

Hand-poured locally in the heart of Los Angeles, California, this clean-burning soy candle smells like holiday spice and vanilla with a twist of unapologetic honesty. It’s cozy, festive, and just the right amount of unhinged—because normal families don’t make good stories anyway.

The Details:
• Size: 12oz | Burn Time: 60+ hours
• Natural Soy Wax for a long, clean burn
• High-Quality Essential Oil Fragrance for rich, lasting scent
• Non-toxic & Cruelty-Free because you deserve better
• Hand-poured locally in Los Angeles, California

Perfect For:
• Funny holiday gifts for family and friends
• Secret Santa swaps and white elephant parties
• Anyone who embraces the chaos of Christmas
• Pairing with laughter, wine, and light emotional damage

HOLIDAY SPICE + VANILLA

Wrap yourself in the cozy warmth of Christmas with the perfect blend of spicy cinnamon and creamy vanilla. This inviting fragrance captures the sweet nostalgia of holiday baking, filling your home with the comforting scents of freshly baked cookies and cinnamon sticks by the fire. It’s the ultimate way to evoke the joy and magic of the holiday season.

Infused with natural essential oils, including gurjun balsam, this festive fragrance is pure Christmas cheer in a jar.

Top: All Spice, Clove, Nutmeg
Middle: Tea Rose, Coconut
Base: Lactonic, Vanilla, White Musk

CHRISTMAS HEARTH:

A classic holiday scent, Christmas Hearth fragrance tells the story of a cozy holiday night spent sipping wine in front of the fireplace. It combines orange spice notes from the kitchen, fir and pine notes from the Christmas tree, and an earthy smokiness from the fireplace. It's Christmas Eve, in a bottle, any time.

This fragrance infuses natural essential oils, including orange, cinnamon, clove, vetiver, and pine.

Top: Orange Peel, Cinnamon, Ginger
Middle: Cypress, Clove
Base: Pine, Fir

SHIMMERING SUGAR COOKIE: 

Dive into the holiday spirit with a joyful blend of sugared red berries, twirling in sweet harmony with rich, buttery vanilla beans. This fragrance is a true festive indulgence, capturing the season's magic in every swirl. Topped with a playful dash of colorful sequin sprinkles, it’s a fun and sparkling celebration that will leave your space merry and bright.

Top:  Strawberry, Sheer Blueberry Glaze
Middle: Vanilla Bean Swirl,  Raspberries
Base: Sweet, Cream, Musky, Powdery.

HOLIDAY WONDERLAND: 

Let the holiday festivities unfold with this enchanting blend of classic pine and fir balsam, elevated by the shimmering notes of refreshing mint and zesty lemon. As you breathe in the refreshing aroma, the gentle sweetness of snow-kissed vanilla wraps around you, creating a cozy atmosphere reminiscent of winter wonderlands and holiday gatherings. Light this candle to transform your space into a festive retreat where the season's spirit truly comes alive.

Top:  Lemon Zest, Red Fruits, Shimmering Mint
Middle: Glistening White Pine, Eucalyptus Leaf, Fir Balsam
Base: Snowkissed Vanilla Woods, Sparkling Musk