Nothing For You Whore | Funny Christmas Candle (ONLINE ORDER ONLY)

For the ones who’ve been just a little too real this year. Nothing for You Whore is a festive wink at every sarcastic soul who didn’t exactly make Santa proud—but looked good doing it.

Hand-poured locally in the heart of Los Angeles, California, this clean-burning soy wax candle blends holiday spice and vanilla for the perfect mix of sass and warmth. Light it up, pour a drink, and toast to surviving another year of questionable decisions and unmatched vibes.

The Details:
• Size: 12oz | Burn Time: 60+ hours
• Natural Soy Wax for a long, clean burn
• High-Quality Essential Oil Fragrance for rich, lasting scent
• Non-toxic & Cruelty-Free because you deserve better
• Hand-poured locally in Los Angeles, California

Perfect For:
• Friends who’ve earned a spot on the Naughty List
• Funny holiday gifts with attitude
• Secret Santa swaps and office party chaos
• Pairing with cookies, cocoa, and light holiday judgme

HOLIDAY SPICE + VANILLA

 Wrap yourself in the cozy warmth of Christmas with the perfect blend of spicy cinnamon and creamy vanilla. This inviting fragrance captures the sweet nostalgia of holiday baking, filling your home with the comforting scents of freshly baked cookies and cinnamon sticks by the fire. It’s the ultimate way to evoke the joy and magic of the holiday season.

Infused with natural essential oils, including gurjun balsam, this festive fragrance is pure Christmas cheer in a jar.

Top: All Spice, Clove, Nutmeg
Middle: Tea Rose, Coconut
Base: Lactonic, Vanilla, White Musk

CHRISTMAS HEARTH:

A classic holiday scent that tells the story of a cozy holiday night spent sipping wine in front of the fireplace. Christmas Hearth fragrance combines orange spice notes from the kitchen, fir and pine notes from the Christmas tree, and an earthy smokiness from the fireplace. It's Christmas Eve, in a bottle, any time.

This fragrance is infused with natural essential oils, including orange, cinnamon, clove, vetiver, and pine.

Top: Orange Peel, Cinnamon, Ginger
Middle: Cypress, Clove
Base: Pine, Fir

SHIMMERING SUGAR COOKIE: 

Dive into the holiday spirit with a joyful blend of sugared red berries, twirling in sweet harmony with rich, buttery vanilla bean. This fragrance is a true festive indulgence, capturing the magic of the season in every swirl. Topped with a playful dash of colorful sequin sprinkles, it’s a fun and sparkling celebration that will leave your space feeling merry and bright.

Top:  Strawberry, Sheer Blueberry Glaze
Middle: Vanilla Bean Swirl,  Raspberries
Base: Sweet, Cream, Musky, Powdery

FROSTED EVERGREEN: 

Let the holiday festivities unfold with this enchanting blend of classic pine and fir balsam, elevated by the shimmering notes of refreshing mint and zesty lemon. As you breathe in the refreshing aroma, the gentle sweetness of snow-kissed vanilla wraps around you, creating a cozy atmosphere reminiscent of winter wonderlands and holiday gatherings. Light this candle to transform your space into a festive retreat where the season's spirit truly comes alive.

Top:  Lemon Zest, Red Fruits, Shimmering Mint
Middle: Glistening White Pine, Eucalyptus Leaf, Fir Balsam
Base: Snowkissed Vanilla Woods, Sparkling Musk